SNAPSHOTS: Badlands, Black Hills, Yellowstone, Kalispell
SNAPSHOTS are short, diary-entry style blurbs from my time on the road. Authenticity & connection are two of my core values, so I hope these honest thoughts, musings, experiences and insights help to create just that!
8/15/21: Stopped at Falls Park in Sioux Falls, South Dakota on my way to Chamberlain. My first thought when walking around all the gorgeous rock formations and waterfalls was… is this man made? Felt sad that I’m more used to seeing beautiful feats of nature in movies or theme parks than I am in actual nature. There was a statue of a Bison in the park honoring all the herds that used to roam these plains. Feel like I have to be part of the force that protects the wild before all we have is statues to remember what the wild even looks like.
8/16/21: Went to see the Dignity statue today honoring the Lakota and Dakota Tribes who are indigenous to South Dakota. Aiming to learn about Native American history on this trip, along with all the other layers that make up the fabric of this country, and trying to find my place in it. Feel lost in the abyss of it all sometimes. Reminding myself this is the work of a lifetime.
8/17/21: Went to the Atka Lakota Museum in Chamberlain today run by St. Joseph’s Indian School. This school is another example of the settlers trying to strip away all the culture and traditions away from the Lakota people. In the history the school shared, they said in the 1950s they realized the error of their ways and gradually began bringing back pieces of traditional Native American life. Wandered around the museum marveling at the richness of Lakota art, wisdom, stories and traditions, amid stories of the violence and trauma they experienced. Trying not to get lost in the weight of the world and focus on how I can unravel my own biases and fears… how I might be able to take action and be a positive drop in the bucket.
8/18/21: Recorded the intro episode for the podcast with Julie today. Feeling out of it and nervous as I gear up for a few days of camping and being totally out of my element, as if I wasn’t already. Feel like it didn’t go as I’d hoped and wished I had rescheduled. Feeling vulnerable and like I don’t have all the answers and like I don’t know what I’m doing. Of course that’s true, and that still doesn’t make it easy to publicly share that with everyone - LOL.
8/19/21: OMG what a day. Drove through the Badlands, the Black Hills and Custer State Park. Could have spent days or weeks in each. A Bison walked by my car today, stopped next to me and licked it’s lips. Holy shit they’re big LOL. Felt called to go to Sylvan lake, even though it wasn’t one of the TOP highlights, and I’m so glad I did. It’s freaking glorious. When I asked my host in Chamberlain where I should go, he said you just CAN’T MISS Wall Drug before you leave South Dakota. I’m glad I missed it.
8/20/21: Stayed with CouchSurfers in Rapid City last night and they were wonderful. They greeted me with a fresh dinner from their garden and we hung out and chatted around the kitchen table. It was HEAVEN after a long day alone. Stopped by Spearfish Waterfall on the drive today and thought - can I get to all 3 waterfalls in this area before leaving?? Reminding myself… GINA - if you only see ONE THING fully and really take that in, it’s 100x better than rushing through ALL THE THINGS and really seeing nothing.
8/21/21: After the pack of raccoons scared the shit out of me camping last night, decided to splurge on an AirBNB tonight instead of camping in a freezing thunderstorm. Ended up in a cute, warm RV on someone’s property in Tetonia, ID. Great to connect with Amy and Andy. Andy fed me some elk sausage for breakfast and told me about his life growing up with a Dad who hunts and how the money he pays for hunting licenses actually goes towards conservation and can protect natural habitats. Definitely a new way to think about hunting for me and curious to learn more about how it all works together…
8/22/21: Hiked a trail at the Grand Targhee Resort today to get a view of the Tetons. Thankfully I choose an “easier” trail!!! Maybe I’m just out of shape, maybe it’s the altitude, maybe it’s the solitude… but after 10 minutes I was definitely wondering… CAN I DO THIS? Surprisingly I had service on the trail and Naomi answered the phone. Nice to get a boost from friends back home. Watched all the mountain bikers plummeting down the mountain thinking WTF… how do you not die?
8/23/21: First night camping in Yellowstone yesterday and spent the night in the car because I was FREEZING. Barely slept. Made myself get out to Yellowstone early today because that’s what I thought I had to do if I wanted to SEE THE THINGS!! All these amazing things I JUST HAVE to see in Yellowstone right?? Ended up at the Grand Prismatic Spring… pretty cool… a park ranger recommended the Delacy Creek hike so I headed there. Found a couple to tag along with since I didn’t have bear spray. They walked super fast and then peaced out when we got to the lake at the end. I still had to hike 1.5 hrs back so I started making my way, banging my bear sticks. Thought to myself… is this how I die?
8/24/21: Met the couple at the next campsite over this morning. They fed me bacon and french toast. THIS was the connection I’ve been hoping for… Debated over whether to spend another day sightseeing in Yellowstone or just move on. Almost let what I thought I SHOULD be doing overrule what I really wanted and needed. Called my dad and he asked me… would I be disappointed if I didn’t see more things in Yellowstone, or would I be disappointed if I didn’t head out early with the possibility of connecting with the Sage Mountain Center woman? That made things clear. Pointed my car toward Montana and didn’t look back.
8/25/21: Thank god for this place!!!!! As soon as I got to Sage Mountain Center Linda fed me and we sat in her kitchen talking for hours. I’d skip all the Yellowstones for this. I can barely comprehend how her and Chris built this entire place from nothing. Blows my mind. So glad I got to interview her on the podcast and excited for people to hear her story. And there was a labyrinth! Been calling these in and hopefully this was the first of many I’ll find on this trip. Definitely an eye-opening walk…
8/26/21: Got to see Julie and Laura today! Really nice to catch up with everyone. Crazy how it’s been over 10 years since we all met. Feeling more comfortable, confident and grounded in my own skin than I ever have. Now when feelings of insecurity, comparison, inferiority, etc pop up, I’m more able to witness them and let them go rather than let them take over me.
8/27/21: Took a hike with Julie and company at Whitefish Mountain Resort today. Think I was still carrying some anxiety around the hike in the Tetons and getting left behind in Yellowstone. Stopped to tie my shoe at the beginning and fell behind the group with Richard. We were having a nice time talking, walking and taking pictures and then the trail got steeper and we came to a few forks in the road. Couldn’t figure out how to reconnect with the group and I found myself getting nervous. What if we choose a trail that ends up being 10 miles?? What if we get lost out here and it gets dark?? Maybe it’s from traveling alone for 6 weeks, or maybe it’s from feeling the power and danger of the wilderness for the first time… but I was freaked out. Luckily Richard was calm and collected. We ended up on a shorter trail and beat everyone else to the top.
8/28/21: Chill day…slept in, wandered through downtown, went to a diner for huckleberry pie. Spent time in Kalico Art Center, met Michelle and talked about the vibe of Kalispell and Montana being a state of transplants. Read about Max’s Market in a magazine, gave them a call to see if they served dinner. A man named Cooper answered the phone with a bright “Hellloooooo!” Made me smile. Headed over. When I got there I was greeted by a young barefoot woman with thick eyebrows, wearing a unicorn onesie. The young, strapping, curly haired Cooper ran around chasing children. They talked about going to the lake for a picnic and packed a bag. I wanted to say…. take me with you!… but I didn’t.
8/29/21: Had a shitty night’s sleep. Woke up pissed. Journaled, laid in bed, called Jess, cried. Made breakfast and read “The Art of Pilgrimage”. The page I opened up to talked about the inevitable darkness, difficulties and challenges that arise on pilgrimages and suggested if you hit a wall - try taking a day to BROOD. So that’s what I did. Spent most of the day in the house. At night decided to take a picnic to Foys Lake and journaled, read, chilled. Still feel like it’s so hard to let myself just do nothing all day. Maybe after a year I’ll have mastered this art…